Confessions

As the time to start school draws closer, I feel more and more sure about the path that God is calling me to follow. I still have my struggles in my life but I am really starting to see God working on me. My desires are changing, my interests are changing, and more so than ever I feel the urge to lead a more Christ-like life and to be a leader to my family, my friends and my community. I look forward to a life serving God and my community, but before I can do that I have to say a few things.

God has called us all to repent and to confess. I really feel deep in my heart that God cannot restore any of us until we are ready to do this. I am ready to do this. Over the past year and especially in the past few months I have made some major changes in my life. I have prayed daily for God to work in me to prepare me to be the man I am called to be. I have repented to God and made changes to my life. Now I must take the next step. I am ready to make my confessions...

To my wife, at times I have not been the husband that God wants me to be. I have not been there for you in moments when you have needed me, I have not loved you when you needed love and I have not listened when you needed an ear. I have a history of putting myself first in our relationship and I have been lazy. Faith, I am sorry. I love you more than anything and my strongest desire in life is to be not only a Godly husband, but to be your best friend. I see our relationship getting stronger every day. You are the best wife a man could ever ask for.

Throughout my life I have struggled with pornography. Over the last year God has shown me how this is destructive to our families and our society. I have 2 very close friends who have turned to me with this same struggle. Both of you have been a great example to me without even knowing it. The two of you have helped me overcome this without even knowing it.

To my friends, I have tried to be good to you guys although I sometimes give you the short end of the stick. You have all been there when I have needed you and I have not always done the same. I have judged some of you and held grudges against others. I am sorry.

To the church, I have not been as faithful to the church as I know I should be. I have not been faithful in my giving. I have been more than willing to give my time, but I have held my money aside for me. Of all my above confessions, this is the one that I still struggle with the most. I find myself without Faith that God will provide. My wife has had great Faith in God and I have prevented her from giving like I know we should. Pray for me regarding this for this is my biggest struggle right now.

I made these confessions public because I know that I am weak. I know that I can and probably will fall at times. I make these confessions to all of you because God has instructed me to do so. I make these confessions so that you may see me for who I am and so that you all can hold me accountable. I make these confessions so that others may also make their confessions so we may become more Christ-like as a community.

I love you all, I pray for you all, and please, continue to pray for me.